David Beckham is Leaving MLS. But Will He Leave Me All His Money, Talent & Handsomeness?

David Beckham is leaving Major League Soccer, and it begs the question: Was Becks good for the game here?

At the risk of you not reading another word of this post, in a word, yes. In two words, yes, very.

David Beckham is a very rich, handsome and talented man.

When I say that he’s rich, I mean that, objectively, the man has whole heaping piles of money. More money than I can mathematically imagine. When I try to imagine how much money, I get dangerously light headed.

When I say that he’s handsome, I mean that his facial symmetry, rapscallion’s grin, fantastic hair and lithe, athletic, tattooed frame cause feelings of intense desire in other humans across the spectrum of inclinations.

This is how Beckham looks at people. Especially people with cameras. Don’t you agree with my wife that he’s extremely handsome?

When I say that he’s talented, I mean he can play a bit of football. I have no idea what his talents are outside the game–maybe he’s a scrap booking dynamo, or plays a mean mouth harp? But on the pitch, the man is an artist with the ball. A decent athlete, a very hard worker, but hands down one of the best passers (especially as relates to defense-killing long balls) and free kick specialists ever to play the beautiful game.

He was signed by the Galaxy in 2007, a full year before America began its long slog towards becoming the America of Cormac McCarthy’s The Road. A simpler, pre-apocalyptic time, in other words.

He started his career injured. With a shaved head. He limped around the field, looking like a recently furloughed prisoner. But as his bum ankle healed, his hair–and his game–evolved in tandem. Goals, assists, adulation and rakish locks poured forth. Thousands turned out to see him play. The league’s profile rose, and the sports press–and, crucially, other international stars–began to talk about MLS as more than a retirement league.

During Beckham’s tenure, the league expanded to add the Vancouver Whitecaps, Toronto FC, Portland Timbers, Seattle Sounders and Montreal Impact. The New York Red Bulls, Real Salt Lake, Colorado Rapids, Sporting Kansas City and Houston Dynamo moved into soccer specific stadiums. Attendance surpassed the NHL and the NBA. Before the current season, the league signed a TV deal with NBC, the first major network deal in its history.

The Soccer Don, or the Soccer Don’s Evil Doppelganger?

Many of these improvements are due to smart, conservative management by league brass, particularly the only man who gets a pass from me for wearing a goatee after 40: Don “The Soccer Don” Garber. And some of the progress is based on the league’s young, ethnically diverse demo–it looks a lot like the New America, and advertisers get that.

But it’s no coincidence that MLS’s rise follows Beckham’s timeline exactly. At a time when the league needed it desperately, he gave it a global presence, a much broader demographic reach and butts in seats.

And he could still ball:

Beckham is 37 now (btw, that’s a year younger than me–just for comparison’s sake, he gets paid around $5 million per year to play whereas I pay around $135 for a 10 game season at the local inflatable soccerplex–but whatever, I feel no shame). He’ll play his last game for the LA Galaxy when they face the Houston Dynamo in the MLS Cup on December 1st at 4:30 PM ET on ESPN.

Rumors are swirling about where he’s headed next–he’s telling everybody who’ll listen that he’s got more soccer in him, and there are plenty of teams who’ll sign him for the headlines, jersey revenue and gate receipts alone.

It might be a stretch to say this about a 37-year-old midfielder, but whoever signs him should feel lucky.

I was skeptical when he first signed, but as a fan of the league and the sport, I gotta tip my hat to the guy. He left it all on the field in MLS–and he left the league, and the US as a soccer nation, much better for it.

I guess we’ll have to wait a couple weeks to see if he leaves me all those precious items in the post title.